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【求英文好的人帮忙改一下作文,论题为男人和女人谁该多做一些家务和带孩子.我的论点是女人Theoreticallyspeaking,itisequallyacceptableformenandwomentostayhaveandtakecareofthechildren,butinmyopinion,】
 更新时间:2024-04-26 14:09:50
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问题描述:

求英文好的人帮忙改一下作文,论题为男人和女人谁该多做一些家务和带孩子.我的论点是女人

Theoreticallyspeaking,itisequallyacceptableformenandwomentostayhaveandtakecareofthechildren,butinmyopinion,Thereisadistancebetweenidealityandreality.Thereneverwasanabsolutejustice,weshouldkonwthisandacceptit.Ihavetosay,inmyopinoin,womenshoulddothemajorofhouseworkandlookingbabyformosttime.Thoughinthemodernsocietywomenalsohavemanyjobsandtheirowncareer,butbecauseofbeingamother,theywerebornkonwingmoreaboutbabyandtheyaremorecarefullythanmenindailylife.Sometimesit'sridiculousforamantolookforababy,Idon'tmeanthis"job"isawfulbutitwilltroublesalot,asIknow,most"dady"madethingsgobad,andattheend,mothersevendidmorethanbefore.itreallymattersalot,doesn'tit?Tobehonest,Beingamen,wedoearnmorethanwomen,wehavetoberesponsibleforourhome,ourcareer,ourfamilierswehadsomuchtodoandwehavetofacekindsofproblem,Idon'tthinkweareperfectenoughtotakeallthingsonourshoulders,wehaveasayinglikethis,"theremustbeagreatwomanbehindforeachsuccessfulman"wedoneednotonlytheirsupport.buttheiractions.

Inoneword,Ijustwanttosay,afamilyisnotjustahousewelivetogether,butapalcewebuildourlove!so,moreunderstanding,moreforgiving

何海萍回答:
  看了一哈,我就随便说两句吧.我是搞数学的不妥之处谅解.   1.开头的itisequallyacceptableformenandwomentostayhave,我总觉得menorwomen(即and改成or)顺口点,你的stayhave是不是stayhome?   2.Ihavetosay,inmyopinoin,womenshoulddo……,总觉得前面有个inmyopinoin了,这里又来一个inmyopinoin有种重复感觉.就说Ihavetosaywomenshoulddo……,或Iwanttosaywomenshoulddo……   3.就接着上面说的句后面,即womenshoulddothemajorofhouseworkandlookingbabyformosttime,major是形容词,就直接majorhousework啦,去掉of吧;后面lookingbaby似有不妥,照顾小孩应用短语lookafter,前面的动词do就没有用ing形式,这里look也不用吧.我觉得mosttime前面加个the顺口点,感觉而已.   4.接下来,你那句butbecauseofbeingamother,theywerebornkonwingmoreaboutbaby……,你想说的是女人作为母亲,天生就比男人更会照料小孩,天生的或注定要成为的短语是bebornto,所以应改为theywereborntokonwmoreaboutbaby……   5.Sometimesit'sridiculousforamantolookforababy,这句又是“照料”这个短语,lookfor是寻找,应lookafter.   6.第六个不敢乱说,但我总感觉Idon'tmeanthis"job"isawfulbutitwilltroublesalot这句,will改成would好听些,两者区别一时我也说不出来.   7.第6点后面跟着的asIknow,你是另一句开头了,as前面是点号,as大写As.   8.跟着句子后面来了个“,andattheend,”,我认为应该改为intheend,最后的意思,intheend相当于atlast,finnaly,是副词.attheend通常后边要跟上其它成分,即完整的形式是:attheendofsth,意思是"在...的末尾,在...结束的时候".   9.继续看走,你“mothersevendidmorethanbefore”,你全篇用的是现在式,我认为那个did改为do吧.   10.继续看走,跟着的“itreallymattersalot”,it大写为It   11.继续看走,“Tobehonest,Beingamen,”坦率诚恳地说,作为一个男人,作为“一个”男人,应该与men矛盾,你后面用的是women,那men不动,我认为去掉a吧.   12.ourhome,ourcareer,ourfamiliers的“家庭”单词打错,应families.families后加点句号,后面跟着的we大写.   13.继续看走,你的wehavetofacekindsofproblem,“kindsof”是各种各样的,那问题烦恼应该多,所以problem加s用复数.   14.继续看走,你的perfectenoughtotakeallthingsonourshoulders,我总觉得allthings中加个the,即allthethings.   15.继续看走,后面跟着的wehaveasayinglikethis,我喜欢用Thereisasaying   16.也是我的最后了,Inoneword,Ijustwanttosay,我读到这里建议干脆把“Ijustwanttosay”删掉,上面的大段全部都是你说的,你到这里来个总之我仅仅想说,听起不舒服,建议而已,你再读一哈感觉.
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