当前位置 :
诚请雅思大牛帮我批改一下作文.题目:Universitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofmaleandfemalestudentsineverysubject.:Incontemperorytime,manypeopleclaimthatuniversitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofmaleandfemalestudent
 更新时间:2024-04-25 18:19:50
2人问答
问题描述:

诚请雅思大牛帮我批改一下作文.题目:Universitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofmaleandfemale

studentsineverysubject.:

Incontemperorytime,manypeopleclaimthatuniversitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofmaleandfemalestudent,whichmakesnosensetome.

Asthecompetitionisincreasinglystiff,educationcircumtenceisvitalforundergraduates.Anequalnumberofgirlsandboyswillhelpstudentsbuildingloverelationshipswhichinturndistractstheirattentioninstudy.Further,theratioofboystogirlsismostlydecidedbythecharacteristicoftheschool.Forexample,inmyschool,theratioofboystogirlsis7to3becauseofschool'sconcentrationonscienceandengineering.Bycontract,schools,whichhavetendencyinhumanitiescaneasilyattractmoregirlsthanboys.

otherswouldfindnumbersofboysandgirlsimportantcozmoststudentsattendcollegeintheirearlytwenties---anageoffirstlove.Spendingsomequalitytimewithapersonofoppsitesexseemstobeapersonalneed.Consequently,equalityofnumbersbetweenmalesandfemalesgivesstudentsaneasierwaytofindadate.Isitreallyneccesory?Intermsofage,whichinmyopnion,isalsoacrucialperiodtolearn.Aftergraduation,wearestillcapableoffindinglove,whileonthecontrary,wemayfindnotimetolearnfacedwithsociety.Thusthereisnopointinregulatingtheratioofmalestofemalesinschool.

Comparedwithratioofboystogirls,therearemanyotherfactorsthataremoreessentialtoaschool,suchasfacilities,teachersandthelike.Insteadofbotheringthosethatdonotmatter(e.g.ratio),weshouldworkonmoreimportantthings.

第一次练笔,感觉还是有很多不尽人意的地方.希望能够得到前辈们的点评,帮忙指正,谢谢

刘金松回答:
  总体不错,我挑点小毛病   第一段多加一句你自己的观点   第二段最好不用用数字!7要写seven   第三段coz这可是美式口语!请不要用简写,比如he‘s要写heis   最后,你要写一句你自己总结的话
刘金松回答:
  我不是專業的,給你估個5.5-6吧,邏輯是第一,文筆佔第二
最新更新
查询网(393r.com)汇总了汉语字典,新华字典,成语字典,组词,词语,在线查字典,中文字典,英汉字典,在线字典,康熙字典等等,是学生查询学习资料的好帮手,是老师教学的好助手。
声明:本网站尊重并保护知识产权,根据《信息网络传播权保护条例》,如果我们转载的作品侵犯了您的权利,请在一个月内通知我们,我们会及时删除。

邮箱:  联系方式:

Copyright©2009-2021 查询网 393r.com 版权所有 闽ICP备2021002823号-6